The bigger the front the bigger the back

“I saw Bruce Springsteen in Montauk once just

standing

on the beach

all by his lonesome

real late at night

he was watching the ocean-

but-he didn’t see me. I didn’t say anything

you know

cause it was against Gurneys policies”

My sister has heard this story before.

but Bruce Springsteen is on the radio. So-

She’s lost in her own thoughts though -barely listening to me run on-

I was about to tell her how that night had inspired me to write about creative fueling for creative fire but

before I can

she responds:

“so many talk themselves into a

broad back breach

grand facade

all the time

auto tuning

screen shooting

forgetting

just how cool

it is to write

a great song without a big to do

they all

wanna walk around

beautiful with

no truth in the gut”

she thinks too much-

goes on to tell me she has

grown tired

of symantical

tirades

(we are pitching hay

in the barn)

“purposely placed

at arms reach

a virtual

fruit bowl

full

of t- rex bleatings”

I know her well enough to know somebody has pissed her off.

I don’t ask her to explain the t-Rex sheep analogy.

she’s all worked up-

she’s had

enough of

street corner preachers

self proclaimed

this or that

heads

full of book learning with no real life experience

soft pink hands

wearing

cowboy hats

a full feathered headdress

never did nothing to earn it.

She’s upset.

Pitchfork in hand.

Close to a soapbox stance.

I remind her to take it easy.

I say-

(because I’m older)

I say

something

annoying

like-

“infinite subtle possibilities

roaming

around in this space

sissy

you don’t have time to waste”

she waits

(because she’s the youngest and this is our way)

remember-I say-

when I was at

Dr Star’s farm

in Montauk

working

as a

ranch hand

that year?

so far from Alabama

Mama was so daggum pissed remember?

and that

foal escaped

at midnight?

less than 2

hours

after birth

a million dollar

racehorse- whoosh!

my fault

cuz

I only wanted to

get a look-see

all alone and

you know I was young and I forgot

I underestimated the power in her innate natural ability

the stardust in her bones

a little newborn

kicked

open the gate

left me on the ground

out of breathe

I freaked out

had to ring the bell

get everybody up out of bed

go chase her

fancy foal pants

man!

that was something else.

they fired me for that- which is how I ended up at the resort- The Boss on the shore-

She laughs.

(Me getting fired her favorite part)

It’s not the point.

I’m waxing poetic I tell her- listen

this is it- this is-

a big fine time for life!

a lightning strike

a sunspot

a sound

a silence

a sorrow

the never buried

born fast

I can see my breath

I can see your’s

I tell her more-I’ve taken the floor-

we go wobbling

between victories

in muddy old boots

I hate keeping score

talking too much about people we don’t trust-or know

what’s the use

and

who are we to judge?

half the time

I’m talking out of my ass

dangling on the edge of some waning metaphor

myself

who needs sour

apples

we can't eat

it ain’t good to hate

that’s what the aunties taught us

it hard

tough

it takes a lot of

grace

this is a hard place

anyway

sissy

can I just say

because it bears repeating-

there were more stars that night

than

Sky

that is a natural fact it was something else I tell you what

standing out there near the sea

freezing half to death

me

in all that infinite light

it was everywhere

shooting straight through

my entire

little trembling body

bouncing around

magic

babygirl

you hear me?

I mean it seemed like I was part

of the whole thing

we are beloved

that was the feeling

I didn’t have to do anything-

not even receive-

all I had to do

was

stand there

and be-

for one

maybe four beats

I understood

the feeling that newborn foal

had in her

when she kicked open the door and ran down the road

the entire universe

activated from within her spirit

she never experienced separation

from creator

no beginning

no end

she was a horse

born to run

tramps like us

breaking out of cages

in this American dream

you believe me don't you?

I really need you to believe me

This is it!

We are living!

don’t pay attention to those poor assholes sister

you know bullshit when you see it

Anyway, you know what they ended up naming that horse?

She calls over her shoulder on her way out of the barn

“ you know I do- they named her

Midnight Star”